-
By
Anthony
David
Looking
at the pile of books she had to study, Prema sighed. Examinations
loomed up large in her sight. "I shouldn't have wasted all
my time earlier in the year. Instead, if only I had prepared for
these exams right from the beginning like Taruni..If only I had
not spent so much of time at the Internet café.."
She thought,".but now it is too late. What shall I do now?"
The
days flew past.Bleary
eyed with lack of sleep, Prema struggled to keep awake in the
exam hall. Every now and then, her mind would go completely blank!
She struggled through every answer. Somehow, she managed to sit
till the exam was over and hurried to go out. She met Taruni outside
the hall. " Wasn't it a good paper Prema?" cried Taruni,
"Most of us have written well. We should be getting good
marks. How about you?" Prema
was shocked. She thought, "This is because I never did any
proper studying. I am sure they would have planned well to study,
and so they might have done well." She didn't say all this
but somehow just managed to smile.
* * * * * * *
Three
weeks later.
"Hi
Prema", said Taruni, our exam results have just come on the
website. Did you see?" "I
did", blurted out Prema, on the verge of tears, "I failed
in two subjects" "Do
not worry Prema," assured Taruni," You still passed
in one subject. You can clear the others in just six more months.
If you spend a little more time and study properly, you can surely
make it Prema." She
had to run off as she had classes to attend. "See you then,
I'll get back to you."
However,
Prema was far from reassured. She was struggling with thoughts,
which swamped her mind incessantly.
"I
have failed in two subjects. It has never happened before. I am
going to lose six months of my career. Everyone will look down
on me. I, I myself have failed. I am a failure. The fact is that
I did not deserve to pass. Is it worth living then?" she
mused.
Neither
music nor books, which were her favorite hobbies, helped her this
time. Forlorn and sad, she sat alone in her darkened room. Like
a never-ending tape, thoughts in her mind kept on recurring: "I
am a failure. I am so insignificant. No one cares for me. I might
as well die"
Trring,
trring..the bell rang interrupting her depressing thoughts. "Who
is it?" she asked as she reluctantly opened the door. Taruni
walked in with their senior friend Sheela.
Prema
and Taruni belonged to an informal prayer group, which met regularly
to fellowship together. Sheela was their informal leader, lovingly
called as 'Sheelakka.'
"
I just wanted to spend some time with you Prema", said Sheela,
"I heard you had failed in two subjects"
Tears now flowed freely from Prema's eyes. "Sheelakka",
she sobbed, "I am a failure. No one cares for me."
Sheela
let her cry for a while as she listened patiently to all her outpouring.
Then, she gently counseled her. " Don't you remember Prema?
Our Lord Jesus Christ cares for you. He died on the cross for
you and for me even while we were yet sinners. Doesn't that give
us some worth?"
Taruni
came close to Prema and hugged her. She wiped her tears and said,
"Prema, my dear, we all love you. We care for you. You are
not a failure. You can always try again."
"I
know exactly how you feel Prema", began Sheela, " I
also failed once some years ago. I too felt very miserable then.
But I encouraged myself in the Lord. Do you remember the life
of King David? Once when he was most discouraged as he lost his
loved ones to an enemy. Even his own men talked of stoning him
for his failure; it is written that he encouraged himself in the
Lord. Prema, the Lord cares for you. The Word says that He will
never leave you nor forsake you. You have become His daughter.
How can you ever think that He will leave you Prema''?
She
came close to her and held her hand. "You are definitely
not a failure Prema. It so happened that you didn't prioritize
your time properly and so you had a setback in your exams. It
is not you, who is a failure. The fact is that the Lord loves
you, not because you pass or fail, but because He made you and
bought you back! We in our fellowship also love you Prema, with
all our hearts!"
The
beginnings of a smile hovered on Prema's lips. "Thank you
dear sisters, for reminding me. The Lord loves me indeed. How
can I forget it? I agree I am not a failure."
*
* * * * * *
©
2005: M Anthony David.
