Duke Jeyaraj's 9th Anniversary Special article - 9 July 2010

"How did you meet your wife?"

Often times, young people and even some pastors I get to speak to ask me how I met my wife. I would consider that very question a compliment. Well. Well. Well. I met my wife Evan for the first time (as far as my memory goes) at a camp meeting in Vellore called Ministry Efficiency Program for missionaries of Blessing Youth Mission, the year being 1987. I was 12 years old and she 10. Both of our parents were missionaries with Blessing Youth Mission. I distinctly remember how skinny and how stunning she looked even at that time! Another time I bumped into Evan even before I started thinking along the lines of being married to her was in the year 1993 at the BYM Missionary Kids Camp at Sitteri Hills at Tamil Nadu. Evan had just finished her grade 12 and was preparing for her Medical College Entrance Examinations, then. I was bathing near a handpump in Sitteri Hills along with a few boys when she climbed uphill from the Sitteri Bus stop, to arrive one day later than all of us. I cut short my bath and ran in! I did not have an Arnold Schwarznegger body to show her, you see!

Butterflies in my stomach on seeing a pair of sandals!

After I finished by B. Tech. Agricultural Engineering from Allahabad Agricultural Institute in 1997, I briefly worked at Chennai. Evan, too was at Chennai then, working in Madras Medical Mission – a famed heart hospital. We met at the English Students of Jesus (ESFJ) which met at the home of Mr. S. C. Vedasironmani, a home that almost kissed the Numkambakkam Railway Station. I recall I how once I reached late to on ESFJ meeting and saw a pair of footwear outside Mr. Vedasironmani's home – a pair of footwear I recognized to be Evan's! I told myself, "She is in there!" and had butterflies in my stomach! After one meeting I distributed the MISSIONARY KIDS magazine with my lead article, BEATING SEXUAL TEMPTATIONS, fresh from the press to those at ESFJ. Again, Evan, was there to receive it! Little did I know then that she would be the woman with whom I would have short accounts with in order to effectively beat temptation down the line!

The Guitar Strumming Girl

An important development then was that I got to know about Evan's ministry involvement. She did not go ballistic about Blessing Youth Mission (BYM) as I did. But quietly she did ministry in her style: strumming the guitar in the prayer cell at Working Women's Hostel, Vepery, Chennai – a hostel that housed some of most hip girls in Chennai; taking interested girls to the church she attended, the Apostolic Christian Assembly(ACA), India's largest church when we take to count the number of people who sit for one service, for water baptism.

Not a dumbheaded Head-nodder!

I also recall how Evan did not simply nod her head to whatever I said – a quality about her that secretly admired. When I made a negative remark about a famous revival preacher who left BYM to start his own ministry she was not pretty pleased and told me that she wasn't in no uncertain terms! The Prophet in her probably told her then, that I too would do the same thing one fine day! Which I did! When she told me that she had committed her life for the ministry during one of the special meetings in Santhosha Vidhyalaya, Dhonavur, the School she studied in for the best part of her life, since her parents were missionaries in Orissa, I took special note, for, I was looking for a life partner who had done that before meeting me! On one occasion, she recited Isaiah 6, while walking down the road with me! She had learnt by memory this passage and such passages as a kid! Here was a girl who had the Word in her heart and slowly and surely winning a place in my heart! Here was a girl who had the qualities I was looking forward to, in my lifepartner!

Yellow Salwar!

From June 1998 I was at Southern Asia Bible College, Bangalore, studying for my M. Div. I started getting from proposals for marriage from well-meaning family and ministry friends through my parents. It was at this time I rushed to the jungles opposite to the Bible College and started praying about my life partner very seriously. At the end of those seasons of supplication God wrote in my heart that Evan was His chosen girl for me! Before knowing that, I made sure she fulfilled some of the criterion I had for the girl I would marry: a believer, involved in the ministry, part of the google generation – the generation I was trying to reach, but outside my caste, a caste so notorious in Tamil Nadu for marrying only within itself! The first time I met Evan after I knew I would marry her was at Chennai Central Station. She wore an Yellow salwar and my heart skipped a beat!

And to cut the long story short – we got married at Gudiyattam on the 9 July 2001 – in the presence of our beloved missionary parents along with 800 people. "Evan is the greatest thing that happened to me, apart from the Lord Jesus," I told the crowd. That was the first time she heard me speak in public, though I had been preaching for 10 years at that point in time! Yes, she did listen to me once on tape - a missionary challenge from Amos I gave to students in Santhosha Vidhayala. But she had never listened to speak live, till then.

Bubbly Extrovert

After marriage we moved to New Delhi to work with the Assemblies of God there. I was the youth pastor cum Bible College Teacher. Soon we had modern youth coming up to us and opening their lives to us so that we could counsel them from the Bible. One reason why that happened was this: they saw Evan, an bubbly, extrovert next their thoughtful intervertish youth pastor. The first ever youth camp, Evan and I addressed together was at the Mark Buntain Memorial AG Church at Kolkota in October 2001 - just three months after we got married. I still remember how Evan's moving solo, "He touched me!" touched the young people after my first message in that youth camp - a gospel message.

It at New Delhi Evan started sharing the Gospel with Auto Drivers. She picked up Hindi just to be able to do this. Her testimony about how she did it was published in the Blessing magazine. Talking about magazines I must talk about how Evan edits almost everything I have written in the 6-plus years of our marriage so that my writings will graduate from crass to crisp, elongated to elegant.

She preaches better than you!

After we joined Blessing Youth Mission, the first town we preached in together was at Miraj, Maharashtra. It was an AID-infected town. And we were asked to speak on subjects that were relevant. Evan's salvation message with a AIDs backdrop saw a lot of youth commit their lives to the Lord. One missionary aunty remarked that she preached better than me in that meeting. I could not be prouder when I heard that! Later on she stood before a packed hall full of youth of various churches in Kohlapur and taught them how to choose their life partner. The youth were all ears.

Pregnant and preaching!

I also recall how we preached in tandem in Lady Doak College, Madurai, Bishop Heber College, Tiruchy, Tell The World Youth Camp, Siligury and New Life Fellowship All Karnataka Youth Camp, Bangalore. Each time Evan spoke the Lord opened the hearts of the young people to grasp truth He wanted to hear from the Word. When she preached to the youth of Hyderabad Methodist Church at Karigari she was not only pregnant with the Word of God, she was pregnant with our first son, Dale Nathan!

Her impact on Genpact youth

Her message "Sinking Ship Not Called Titanic" (on relationships) preached to 500 youth of the New Life AG Church, Secunderabad, was video-recorded. That particular video was brought briskly in the meetings we have addressed. Once I was stopped by a girl who works for Genpact in Hyderabad. She stopped just to tell me, "I still remember the message your wife preached on relationships in that youth camp. It was a big blessing!"

Nappy-changing and cheering from afar

She was invited again by the same church - the New Life AG Church, Secunderabad - to do a workshop on March 8 - World Women's Day. That day, she made a compelling presentation titled, "Single and Despondent to Single and Confident" for the over 200 single girls. On that day, my job was simple: nappy-changing and cheering-from-afar (it's an all-women's meet, that's why).

Poems for my wife

From time to time I have write poem/short prose to express my love for this great girl called Evan God gave me. May I share one such poem I recently wrote:

Thank you, Evan, for sharing with me, your skin,
Thank you for pointing out in me, sin!
Thank you for paving the way for me to win,
Thank you for training me in matters like tomatoes, Face Creams and 'Rin'!

And one time, I picked up my pen and wrote, "You are one Woman, I'll gladly walk life's road, even if that road is as long as Nile!"

It is not that we never fight or have disagreements. When we do, I tell Evan that I would be her roommate even in Heaven and so she better put up with me!

Now, there is a new woman in my life. Shocked?! Don't be - I am talking about my little daughter Datasha. When she smiles at me I am floating in thin air, mile high! When she calls me "Dad-dha" I am over the moon. I thank God for these two women in my life. I did not deserve them, yet God gave them to me! And I am so grateful to God.