Join for a Bible Study that Bro. Duke Jeyaraj leads for Modern Young Working Professionals, the Google Gen, from different companies, at his base in the Tirumalgiri area of Secunderabad, India, once a month, on a selected Sunday evening. Text +91-888-604-0-605 for details. The notes of this Bible Study are at www.freshbiblestudy.wordpress.com
Join for an evangelistic outreach to the Google Gen in Hyderabad once a month with Duke on a weekend. Call/text +91-888-604-0-605 for details. Ministry reports are at www.g-4mission.blogspot.com
Welcome to the official
website of Grabbing the Gadget Generation from Gehenna Mission (G 4 Mission)
– a ministry to modern youth founded by Duke Jeyaraj, a young Indian Engineer
turned Bible College Gold Medalist turned Youth Speaker.
What The Bible Teaches About Sex - Duke Jeyaraj
A message that Duke gave to Google Genners of NLAG Church in 2007
HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?
(A chapter that explains how intimate with the opposite gender young people can get)
Karan’s question and Shahid’s answer Karan Johar shot a point blank question to Actor Shahid Kapoor in the Star World TV program that was aired on March 9, 2007 titled “Koffee with Karan”. This was the question: “In one word tell me what you think of casual sex?” His girlfriend of three years, actress Kareena Kapoor was sitting beside him in the show. When Shahid answered that “casual sex was convenient” he was only airing the views of the google generation that they didn’t mind exploring the bodies of the opposite gender without actually having “sex”.
Young people often ask, “How far is too far?” Only if you were an innocent nut you would imagine they are talking about a walking into a thick jungle and getting lost because they went too far! The young people are talking about limits on physical intimacy with the opposite sex before marriage – an issue that deeply bothers them. Can Christians girls sing with Barbie, “You can touch my hair and touch me everywhere?” Well, that is the question! Jesus touched women, but… You know what? Jesus, a normal red blooded young man touched women and allowed them to touch him. In fact about one woman he said, “from the time I entered, she has not stopped kissing my feet” (Luke 7:45). Jesus took Jairus’ young daughter by the hand (Mark 5:41). Before we punch the air to exclaim, “My Master touched the opposite sex and therefore I can have a whale of a time!” do notice in what situations he touched women. It was in public places before the eyes of the several others. There was no secrecy about it. And nothing obscene about what he was doing. Period. So those fun-games we play in the church in front of each other which involve touching the opposite sex in an appropriate way would be cool in Christ’s eyes. Do a Clinton? Do a Lewinsky? But we must probe this matter little deeper. “What about touching the opposite sex, the way Bill Clinton touched Monica Lewinsky?” – that’s probably the question that hides at back of your mind. In Scripture we do find the answer for this burning issue. Certainly. Here I outline what four different books of the Bible have to say about this sensitive subject: 1. The Pagan’s clear conviction –
When a Pagan (a Non-believer) king saw, Isaac ‘fondling’ his wife Rebecca through the window, he shot a question: “Why did you not tell me that Rebecca was your wife, Isaac. Why did you instead say that she was just your sister?” Stop. Listen. There is a moral in this narrative. A truth for youth hidden in this story found in Genesis 26:1-9. It is this: even a disbelieving king knew instinctively that only a husband and wife can fondle each other – not just any couple! Even a pagan king instinctively knew that you could fondle only your wife – not anyone else of the opposite sex. When this is the case, it is quite sorrowful to note young people who are church-regulars also being casual sex regulars.
2. The Proverbs’ penman’s penetrating question –
The Proverb’s penman’s question to this generation of youth who have no qualms about exploring every inch of the body of the opposite sex is this straight-forward: “Why embrace the breasts of another man’s wife?” (Prov 5:19). Just the previous verse in this passage makes out that the breasts of young wife must be caressed by only by her young husband (verse 18).
Physical intimacy with the opposite sex before marriage is like scooping fire on your lap and expecting nothing to happen (Prov 6:27). Duffy Robbins said, “You can’t spend your time heating up hormones – by indulging in petting – and expect nothing to come out of it!” (Source of the quote misplaced).
The problem with petting is this: you will want to get more and more intimate with the person of the opposite sex you are getting physical with. I haven’t yet met a young man who told his girlfriend, “Girl that kiss was awesome. However, from our next meeting onwards we will just shake hands – okay!” Even in the Bible I read about a young man who first “strolled” near a seductive woman’s home; then he started to “smooch” her only to finally “sleep” with her (Prov 7:8-23). Notice how he graduated from lesser forms of intimacy to greater forms. Our body is wired that way. The Bible calls him “a youth who lacked judgment” (Prov 7:7). And if we get physically intimate with the opposite sex we too will earn that same name. You don’t want it – do you? “If you cannot stop, don’t start!” – that was a signboard put up in a Brake Station. Relay that principle in the area of sexual intimacy and the message is crystal clear: if you want to stay a virgin and please the Lord, don’t even start to be physically intimate with a person of the opposite sex! Be the Joseph who ran away from the woman who touched him the wrong way (Gen 39:12). 3. The Poetry of Solomon’s conclusion –
The young lady in Song of Songs describes the way she is physically intimate with her man very graphically: “His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me” (SS 2:6 NLT). Shortly after this statement, comes the call which was referred to earlier in this piece: “Promise me, O Women of Jerusalem…not to awaken love until the time is right” (v. 7). Keeping the context of this verse just quoted, we can conclusively say that the young woman of Song of Songs is saying this: “Do not get physically intimate with the opposite sex until the time is right! Show some temperance. Show self-control! ” And we know from Scripture that ‘the right time’ for climaxing one’s sexual desires is within the boundary of marriage. Therefore true romantic love certainly will not indulge in intimate touching of the opposite gender before marriage.
Sure, the couple in Song of Songs did pet and fondle each other a lot. The man in question in this book ‘browses among the lilies’ (2:16). He also goes to his garden ‘to pasture and pluck lilies’ (6:2). And you know what – sheep never eat lilies! So obviously in the boy’s vocabulary the girl is the “lily” he wants to pluck – fondle, caress and touch intimately (See 2:2)! But remember they were already married (5:16). The young man calls the girl his “bride” – not girlfriend (4:12; 5:1). So we learn again from Song of Songs that petting is out of bounds for those not married to each other 4. The Prophet’s graphic parabolic narration -
Prophet Ezekiel in his 23rd chapter wrote a graphic parabolic narration of how two sisters, Oholah and Oholibah (symbolic of Israel and Judah) allowed men to touch them in places they shouldn’t have touched. God did not mince words when he named the act of allowing one’s breasts to be fondled as “prostitution” and explicitly said that he was “disgusted” with such behavior in this shocking passage (Ezek 23:3,18,19,21). Bible Scholars explain, this passage actually speaks of “the elect people of Israel’s figurative promiscuity in Egypt where they sought to be caressed by a foreign faith and culture” (New International Dictionary of Old Testament Theology and Exegesis: Volume 4 - London: Paternoster Press, 1996, page 1091). They brilliantly observe that, in this passage, the breasts fondled by illicit lovers of these young girls were being torn as part of God’s judgment upon them (Refer to Ezek 23:21,34) (Ibid., Volume III, page 214). I believe that even through this passage, God is teaching modern youth that he is pretty peeved when they get intimate with the opposite gender without the benefit of marriage. Have you grasped this truth for youth that emanates from Ezekiel 23? There were days you learnt truths only from elementary passages like Psalm 23 when you were a child. You aren’t one anymore! You have grown up! Grow up to grasp this lesson that jumps out from Ezekiel 23!
What disgusts Dicaprio I was surprised to read this about the man who probably did the most watched kiss of all time on the screen: “Kissing disgusts Dicaprio!” He went on to say in the news item, “The human mouth is one of the dirtiest things in the planet! There’s so much bacteria, slime and trapped food. A dog’s mouth is cleaner!” (learnt from www.imdb.com on 9 March 2007). If you avoided kissing altogether, apart from keeping you off from sexual sin you would have kept your mouth from bacteria, it looks like!
Uncle Billy Graham’s example Therefore never get into a confined space alone with a person of the opposite sex and lock yourself in. This simple practical step will save you from the temptation to have the kind of physical intimacy that will displease the Lord. Billy Graham writes in his best selling autobiography JUST AS I AM about how he refused to meet with Hilary Clinton in private but insisted that they sit in front of others in a restaurant and meet. Here are the exact words he used in reply to Hillary Clinton’s request, “I would be delighted to. But I don’t have private luncheons with beautiful ladies. We could sit in the middle of the dining room at the Capital Hotel where everybody would be able to see us, and still have a private conversation” He was in his seventies when this particular incident happened! (USA: HarperSanFrancisco Zondervan, 1997, page 651). Billy Graham certainly understood all what the scripture said about physical intimacy limits with a member of the opposite sex! Thank you for the example, uncle Billy!